


Hopeless romantic

by multifandomgeek



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Branjie, Fix-It, Getting Back Together, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, M/M, post-reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 14:25:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18994414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomgeek/pseuds/multifandomgeek
Summary: They sit down to talk it out again, try again. After the reunion, they can do whatever the hell they want, including working on the issues that kept them apart in the first place.





	Hopeless romantic

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a few fix-it fics with Brooke changing her ways for Vanessa and I thought it would be interesting to explore another way to view it. Hope you guys enjoy it.

They were sitting on the couch of Brooke’s hotel room in LA looking at each other so seriously you would think they would either fight or fuck at any moment now, but they were both determined to do neither. It was just the two of them, just Brooke and Vanessa, or rather Brock and Jose, out of drag, filling the silence with things unsaid, with anger and frustration but also longing and love.

They decided to try, again, to talk things out. They still had feelings for each other, and it was blatantly obvious even if they hadn’t said it out loud on national television. Being on the same city for Dragcon with no more secrets to keep from the public had them feeling vulnerable in front of each other, and the fans were not being so helpful at keeping things at bay either.

But maybe even if there wasn’t an army of people encouraging them to get back together they would have found themselves here anyway. Having the knowledge that there was no contract this time, and the freedom to do things without any producers meddling with their interactions was making them hopeful.

They had texted a lot before agreeing to meet in person. Vanjie agreed to let Brooke call her out if she started to raise her voice. Brooke agreed to let Vanjie call her out if she started to retreat into herself too much and change the subject. It was all very businesslike, the stakes felt too high for it not to be. The season 11 tour was approaching and surely they would not be able to keep their hands off each other, and no matter what they eventually would have said, things would get messy, with a big fat chance of being publicly so.

“You have to start this,” said Vanessa eventually. “You already know what I want, how I feel. Hell, everybody knows.” Brooke rubbed his face down before he talked.

“People think I’m a heartless bitch. Too selfish to love you,” he said, looking away from Vanjie’s face. It was not how he intended to do this, but it was out now.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, you know how I say things and don’t even realize half the time," said Vanessa getting slightly closer just to grab Brooke’s hand reassuringly. "I didn’t mean it that way, if you were bad to me it would be way easier to get over you now,” he finished in a low voice.

“People overanalyze everything anyway,” said Brooke, for himself as much as for Vanessa.

“Yeah, fuck them.”

“Do you think I’m too selfish to love you? Too cold to be romantic?” asked Brooke, still holding Vanessa’s hand, waiting for his answer with a clenched heart.

“No,” responded Vanjie, but let go of Brooke to sit back on the couch and run his hand on his own hair. “It’s not when you’re with me that’s the problem, you know that.”

“I know,” said Brooke, sitting back too, unconsciously setting himself for the hardest part of the conversation. “I know I’m gonna repeat myself, but I want you to listen okay? ‘Cause sometimes I think you were too mad or too hurt to listen.”

“Okay,” said Vanessa, trying his best not to get defensive at that.

“I am _not_ gonna ask you to have an open relationship. I am _not_ gonna sleep around or cheat on you,” said Brooke, and he could almost see the blood start to boil under Vanessa’s skin, but he could also see the effort she was making to listen and letting him finish, which was new and hopeful. “What I want is for us to talk, really talk, get to a compromise or something, try a DIY couple therapy, I don’t know, but change something about how crazy jealous you get, boo, because if that stays the same I don’t think we can make it,” Brooke finished and his heart was pounding. Vanessa shifted to put his elbows on his knees and hide his face while he took a deep breath. Brooke knew how deeply the jealousy was engraved in Jose’s values. It was part of his upbringing, even. But even though he understood, he couldn’t live with it. God knew he tried.

“You can’t expect me to see some gogo-boy touchy guy making googly eyes at you and touching you and be fine with it,” said Vanjie, with an edgy tone but holding back the anger as much as possible. “Especially when I see you flirting back! That’s not normal!”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s normal, it’s me! What do you think it’s going to happen, he’s gonna steal me away from you? That’s nonsense, nobody can steal me from you, Jose. Look at me,” asked Brooke, because what he was going to say was important and also because he wanted to break the heated pace the conversation was taking. Vanessa looked him in the eye, and Brooke did his best to ignore the tears forming at the corner of his eyes, even as he felt himself doing the same. He sighed. “No one can steal me from you because I’m not your property. I choose to be with you because I love you. You don’t belong to me, I don’t belong to you, we are _together_ because we want to be.”

“It’s not that simple. I can understand that in my head, but I don’t control my heart Brock,” there were tears flowing from his eyes now.

“Could we at least try? Baby steps? No promises, just... “ Brooke was shaking. He reached to hold Vanessa’s head and rest their foreheads together against his better judgment. His smell was intoxicating. “I don’t want to move on from you. I miss you.” He leaned in, but not all the way. He wanted this to be an agreement in every way possible. He closed his eyes and felt Jose’s shaky breath before their lips met in a soft kiss.

“Okay.”

\--

It took a moment before their schedules aligned again. Meanwhile, they kept talking casually, like before. They didn’t mention anything sex-related or even flirt-related to each other. Vanessa had left Brooke’s hotel with no commitment, just a mutual promise that they would work on their own insecurities until they saw each other again.

On their next gig together they didn’t have to keep any façade, they were really just friends now, and above all entertainers, Drag Queens, and they did their fucking job. In between their performances, Brooke approached Vanessa in the green room, touching her arm sweetly.

“I wanna try something, but only if you agree,” Brooke said, quietly enough that only Vanessa could hear her.

“That doesn’t sound good, Mary,” said Vanessa, looking at her with a side eye.

“Ok, so, hmm… I want to go out there and flirt with some guy, doesn't matter who,” said Brooke, and Vanessa’s whole body tensed immediately. “Baby, please,” she pleaded, reaching for Vanjie’s hand. “I’m telling you how it’s gonna be, alright? I’m just gonna act like I act when I’m on tour by myself, nothing less, nothing more. You get to watch every second of it, and I just want you to do that and keep telling yourself that it doesn’t mean a thing. Then I’ll come back to you, and we’ll talk about it. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” said Vanessa sarcastically, though not as much as she could have.

“Yes,” responded Brooke, ignoring her tone. “I’ll go out there, talk to people, maybe take a few pictures and give a few hugs like always, and come back. That’s it.”

“Fine. Sure. Okay,” said Vanessa, turning back to the mirror to finish her touch-ups. She was still tense as fuck, but didn’t argue, didn’t say no. That counted for something, right? Brooke left her to it, feeling the anxiety creeping up on her. She went to have a shot or three or she would never be able to do it. This was it, the test.

Or not. They could tune it, maybe, adapt. Make it work, put on the effort. The Notebook was an edited work, much like the storyline their fans got to see of them on Drag Race. The real relationship took work, no matter how many grand gestures or declarations of love or small romantic actions Brooke made for her lover. That took work from her too, but now she needed Vanessa to show her she could do her part, show her they could move forward from the fights they kept having in the past.

Brooke looked back to make sure Vanjie saw her leaving the green room. The Latina even gave her a weak smile and a thumbs up as the blonde stepped out to the VIP area of the party. People were talking to her immediately, and although it took some effort to relax, she managed to act like herself after a few minutes.

She didn’t look around as she let guys flirt with her, as she flirted back. It was second nature, really, not only was Brooke a nice looking guy, she was a celebrity now. It came effortlessly, and it was fun, even as it was nerve-wracking to keep stirring her thoughts away from what it would lead to later, with the person who really mattered. She almost wanted not to do it, keep it to herself, go backstage again, but that wasn’t the point. She couldn’t hide backstage forever, keep herself away from the crowd that gave her life, made her want this life in the first place. She didn’t want to change who she was. She could tune it for Vanessa, like she was already doing with the monogamy thing and so many other small things, and she knew Vanessa was doing for her too. But the jealousy was the big thing, the Problem with a capital P, and as Brooke leaned into the guy who was talking to her to say goodbye closer to his ear, touching his arm firmly, all she could do was hope. Hope it would work. Hope Vanessa would be able to love her for her.

She made her way backstage feeling her heart in her throat, expecting to see Vanjie fuming, crying, yelling, anything other than pulling her by the hand and neck to kiss her fiercely against a wall. They hadn’t kiss like that in a while, and Brooke responded immediately, crowding Vanessa with her body and thrusting her tongue inside her mouth. She felt Vanessa’s hand grip the back of her neck and her fake nails scrape the skin there. Brooke was sure she would have pulled her hair if it wasn’t for the wig. She pulled back before things got too heated and uncomfortable. They still had to perform after all.

“I don’t like it,” Vanjie said breathlessly, forehead against Brooke’s collarbone, “but I can- I can do it. I won’t get angry, I’ll trust you. Maybe not right away, maybe I’ll slip up sometimes, but I promise I’ll try. Just don’t- Nothing more than this. If you ever do, you have to tell me.”

“I won’t. I don’t ever wanna hurt you,” said Brooke, wrapping her arms tightly around Vanessa.

“Promise me,” said Vanessa, pulling back to look her in the eye, “promise me that if you get too drunk or too horny and cheat on me you’ll tell me. You have to promise.”

“I promise,” Brooke said, nodding and putting a hand on Vanessa’s exposed chest. “I won’t do it, but if I fuck it up I won’t hide it from you. I love you. I choose to be with you, no one can take that away.”

“I love you too,” said Vanessa pecking Brooke on the lips once, then twice for good measure. Brooke could feel her heart swell.

Someone called Vanjie to say she was due on the stage soon. She rushed to a mirror to fix her lips, and Brooke was left standing in a state of stupor, as if she didn’t know if she was allowed to be happy again. Life was happening around her too fast, in a way that made the whole moment sort of anticlimactic.

She watched Vanessa perform “No More Drama” from backstage. She had seen this performance a few times by now, live and online. But she could tell this one was different. Vanessa was even more emotional, if possible. She cried more than usual and smiled more when it ended, but that wasn’t all. It was powerful in an indescribable way, and the crowd felt it too.

It took until a few seconds into the standing ovation for Brooke to finally realize they were really back together again, with new promises, new dynamics. _No more drama_ , she finally understood. That’s what Vanessa wanted too. The happy ending, not the angsty middle. Brooke felt a sting in her eyes.

“Your mascara is not waterproof,” said Courtney by her side, startling her, “just saying.” She handled Brooke a tissue casually, ever so efficient. Brooke chuckled, pressing it to the corner of her eyes and moving towards the mirrors to touch up before her own performance. She was back in work mode in no time, her heart surprisingly light, thoughts of being free to touch, talk, laugh, do everything and anything freely with Vanessa again flowing through her head, a weight lifted from her shoulders.

She wasn’t thinking about the work they still had to put into it, or how they would handle the public aspect of their relationship. She wasn’t even thinking about the tour, or the distance, not even the crown. Not because she forgot all about it, but because none of it mattered right now. Right now love was winning, and maybe she could allow herself to be a little hopelessly romantic too.

**Author's Note:**

> I just came back from vacation with an itch to write! I didn't get a chance to really rant about my own heartbreak about Branjie, so you got this. 
> 
> Talk to me in the comments, tell me what you think.


End file.
